Tuesday, December 28, 2010

this close to the nut house

Let me preface this by saying, I don't know what has been wrong with me this Christmas. I usually have my moments during the season, but the past week & a half, I swear if I had a BB gun (which I didn't get BTW) I would have shot Rudolph in his shiny red nose. My happy pills aren't working & I've taken more Xanax & drank more this week than I have in 6 months. Nothing is making me merry. Except admiring my kick-ass Christmas tree. That bad boy is staying up till I get in a better mood.Now, Retro always complains that I don't write anything about him.  Like what a wonderful husband he is & other TMI stuff.  Well today is NOT the day for me to start.  And I'm don't think this is the kind of post he was looking for.

See where I'm coming from?

He has been on my $hit list since the mid-afternoon Christmas Eve.  He knocked down one of my favorite wreaths (the candy-themed one).  He knocked it down once before & complained that I should move it, since then 147 several people have entered the house & not bothered it.  Imagine.  The fact that he knock it down is not the problem, the problem is he then proceeded to stomp step on it.  I was already in a pissy mood, so you should have seen my head spin around.

Another thing, how much thought do you think about the gifts you give your loved ones?  Especially your spouse.  Well this year I was so proud of the gift I got for Retro.  I loves milkshakes & we used to have a place in town that made the best.  So...I got him a milkshake machine just like the other one.  I got it through blog work, so he didn't even have to pay for his own gift.  Then he proceeds to say he's going on a diet.

Retro on the other hand, puts very little thought into his gifts.  The best gift EVER was when he surprised me with a golf cart.  It's really not the size or amount of the gift that counts.  Last year, he gave me the EXACT same necklace that he gave me for Mother's Day.  This year "hiking boots" (+ tennis shoes & some clogs)?  I drive the golf cart to the mailbox!  He all the his gifts at a one-stop shop. They sell North Face, that would have worked.  A $20 gift certificate to the nail place would have been more thoughtful.

Thank the Lord I'm in charge of the children's gifts.  Or Baby Girl may be inclined to knock Santa off his freaking block.

Even my awesome LAPTOP from my parents (when I get it hooked up) & the awesome FIRE BOWL from my in-laws can't bring me out of my funk.

He knows I'm just about to my breaking point, so does he offer to stay with the children while I take a break?  Nope, he goes to Atlanta to the Falcons game.  Praise the Lord for my friends B&M! They can always help take to edge off.

And for the record, I do love my husband very much.  He is just the suckiest gift-giver EVER.  And thoughtfully-challenged.
Like the hat? My Christmas gift to myself.

*Don't fret a happier post with lots of pictures is coming soon*


BNM said...

lol i think men in general suck at gift giving hahaha!

Sandra said...

I am so sorry you're in a funk. But let me say that you have a very talented and entertaining way of relating a story! Please come visit Tennessee. I'll take you shopping with Retro's credit card and then you'll feel all better. hehe XOXO

Laura said...

Ugh? Don't slap me, but wasn't it like February before you took your tree down last year?? LOL!

Stepping On Cheerios said...

Men, especially husbands, are the clueless!

Great Hat:)

Doreen McGettigan said...

Just the look on that baby girls face is well just hysterical..how can you not laugh?
My husband actually did okay this year with his gifting (I am his 3rd wife so I think he finally got a clue). I got a very special pen for book signings :)
I hope you feel better soon!

Babes Mami said...

I saw this on facebook a few days ago, the face and gifts, but why hiking boots Retro?? Why? Perhaps you should drop 402 hints next year and enlist the children to mention what mommy wants. I plan to use that system.

Home of a Magnolia said...

Laughing hysterically- just left your neck of the woods. Love my parents, but so glad to be home. My hubby is just the opposite- I have to be very careful what I say around him. If I make the comment "oh, that is cute", I'll probably get it for the next occasion. I might not be thinking "Oh, that is cute I want it", but that is how he takes it. So I keep my mouth shut unless it is David Yurman jewels. Hope your holiday gets better as the New Year approaches. Love the pic of the kids.

Leiah said...

Know what That Man gave me for Christmas this year? A card that said "I know you like DIY Projects so here, do it yourself" and it had cash in it. Really? Best part - he forgot to buy the envelope to go with it so he just put it in a big ol' No. 10 envelope. Best part - we all got the same thing. Me, his momma, his kids & their spouses. Same thing - same amount. Gotta love him!

Debra said...

I used to have this sconce/candle holder on the wall by the front door that my husband would regularly bump into. No one else did, just him. The last time he bumped into it it fell off the wall and broke. Now there's a shelf in the guest bath that the same thing is happening to. He's the only one.

You're not alone - I think it's time for a drink! :)

Dawn M. said...

I've decided resorting to a list from Santa to the kids and a list from me to my hubby is in order. Instead of a 'honey do' list, it'll be a 'honey I'd like this' list. Who knows more things may get crossed off the list that way :) I cracked up at the picture. Sorry you're in a funk. Just know that you are a beautiful woman raising some awesome kids. I admire all the things you do. Take care my friend.

Helene said...

Tim didn't get me crap this year....and the thing is, it's not like he didn't have a chance to go shopping. He had all the time in the world to buy himself an X-Box but no time to even pick up a dinky pair of new slippers for me at the SAME store where he bought his X-box.

But it's all good....sometime this week, he'll hit me up for some action and he'll get denied because I won't HAVE ANY TIME. Let's see how he likes having the same excuse thrown back in his face.

I think you and I should go back to buying ourselves our own gifts from our men...things were so much happier then.

Susan said...

Girlfriend.... I told Hubs exactly what to get me this year...... I gave him several choices, but I steered him in the right direction. Last time he bought a Christmas gift for me was the year he went shopping with his mom and gave me a sweater that his mom would wear..... her color and everything. He knew when I wore that thing, he was in trouble.... I hated that sweater and he knew it! Get better soon and out of that funk!

Shell said...

I do like the hat!

I was in a funk for most of the Christmas season. My husband is a horrible gift giver, too. And this year, for the first time in a long time, I was able to give him something from money I'd earned instead of just out of his paycheck. And does he act happy about it? NO. He acts like an ass and makes me want to use that money and buy myself a good gift.

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