In the wake of all this "political correctness", I've been trying to clean up my language a bit. Here's a few examples...
What I said: He has a 'BEER GUT'.
What I meant to say: He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
What I said: He is a 'BAD DANCER'.
What I meant to say: He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
What I said: He 'GETS LOST ALL THE TIME.'
What I meant to say: He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. '
What I said: He is 'BALDING.'
What I meant to say: He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
What I said: He acts like a 'TOTAL A**. '
What I meant to say: He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.'
What I said: His 'CRACK' is hanging out of his pants.
What I meant to say: It's 'REAR CLEAVAGE'.
What I said: That girl is 'EASY.'
What I meant to say: She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
What I said: She is a 'DUMB BLONDE.'
What I meant to say: She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. '
What I said: She has 'BEEN AROUND.'
What I meant to say: She is a 'PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.'
What I said: She's a 'NAG.'
What I meant to say: She becomes ' VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
What I said: She is a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER.'
What I meant to say: She is a ' LOW COST PROVIDER.'
Check out Hiding from the Kids for more What I meant to say Wednesdays!
3 comments:
you are a genius!
I am so using some of these!
Forget "previously enjoyed companion". Where I come from that *itch is just rode hard and put up wet!
These were hilarious!! Precious blog, so glad I stumbled over! :-)
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