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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Why My Mom Is NOT Mom of the Year By Sassy Semi-Slacker

NOT Mom of the Year Award



Life Without Pink & The Mommyologist are hosting "Not Mom of Year" contest & according to my children I totally qualify.

Instead of me telling you why I'm NOT Mom of the Year, I decided to let Sassy (my 8-year-old daughter) guest post since she tells me I'm the worst momma ever! every day.


My Momma is NOT Mom of the Year because she won't buy me an Ipod. She has an MP3. She totally embarrasses me when she tries to sing. It's not like I do it in public. She acts like I'm invisible & she cares more about Bo. Y'all read this blog, what you think? 

She's not a good mom because she makes me go to bed at night so she can blog or watch Keeping up with the Kardashians or something. Like have some peace. She won't even let me sleep with her. She wears tshirts, black pants & no makeup to my school. Not on important days. She goes to Bunko all the time & leaves me with Daddy. once a month   She yells all the time & even says the D word sometimes.  She's got me on that one. She makes me clean the house. whatever.

The only decent thing she cooks is spaghetti without the sauce.  She doesn't care if my brother wears the same clothes for 3 days or my sister's hair looks like a homeless child's. She won't let me get a cell phone & Bo gets a TV in his room & I don't. Plus his room is bigger & I have to share a bathroom with my sister. Anyway.


She has parties with her friends & drinks wine & we have to go to Gammi's or Babsy's. or have a babysitter. I don't drink wine. My brother & sister always eat all the chocolate ice cream & good cereal. And Baby Girl eats peanut butter out of the jar. Oops.

She always says we're the reason she has to take her happy pills & she says I need some too.  True.  She always blames me when she gets mad. But who gets the least amount of spankings? And she always fusses when I wear her clothes & shoes for dress-up & borrow her purses like my LV Duffel.  All she cares about is that stupid blow-up pool because we don't have a real one. Just waiting on the go ahead.  And she hardly ever lets me drive the golf cart. Her daddy doesn't want her driving it at all.

The only good stuff she does is let us eat McDonald's & Chick-fil-A sometimes. Quite often.  And sometimes let's my friends spend the night. At least once a week b/c she doesn't like to spend the night away. And she buys me stuff that I want. yep.

When I have kids I'm going to be a good mom.  She's apparently not familiar with the "I hope you have a child that acts just like you" curse.

So you got it from the horse's mouth, I should totally be NOT Mom of the Year.

*my commentary is in the lime green*

39 comments:

Ashlee said...

hilarious. so you!

Brittney said...

omg this is fabulous!! I love it!!

Preppy 101 said...

So, so funny! Your posts always make me smile!! xoxo

Mrs4444 said...

You're funny. (And apparently very, very mean.) haha

Life Without Pink said...

This is a great spin on the whole Not mom of the year! And the comment "I hope you have a child that acts just like you" curse. - LOVE IT!!! I remember my mom saying this to my sister who was such a TOUGH kid.

Thanks for linking up! Great post.

Jennifer said...

Sounds like a lot of the same reasons that I'm the worst mom ever too. Especially the going to bed one. We had that in spades last night at our house.

Laura said...

Maybe Sass needs her own blog?

Cluttered Brain said...

I love it!!
Love the only meal U cook that is good is spaghetti without the sauce...
i like the fact that Sass wrote about how U should not get NOT mom title..
Awesome.
I agree, Sass needs her own blog...

Gina said...

I love that you feel you had to explain the lime green commentary! Awesome. Totally cute.

The Empress said...

This was adorable....you need to print this out and keep it forever. I loved it.

Babes Mami said...

What a mean momma how dare you buy her things and not let her sleep with you! Or have a cell phone, ipod and whatever else lol...kids are hilarious.

DREW'S MOM said...

If I let my 6 year old make a list like this, it would be WAY too long for a blog... even though he is an ONLY child, spoiled rotten, and my entire world... Lol Gotta love a kids honesty =)

pink green & southern said...

That is hilarious! And so familiar, like one (or both) of the PG&S girls could have written it.

The Mommyologist said...

This was such a great and clever idea! I wonder what my son would say about me. I'm sure it would have something to do with me not being good at building Lego "vehicles." As you said, WHATEVER!!

Thanks for entering our contest!

AngieB said...

Fabulous! I could just visualize the eye-rolling! I think I'm going to market peanut butter infused with happy pills. It will only be sold in the 1-gallon "peaceful family" size. I'll be living on my own private island in no time :)

Prenda Le Stelle said...

Love that you did it this way! Wonderful idea!!

I've given you an award!
prendalestelle.blogspot.com :)

Tracie said...

Bwahahaha!!! That was priceless!

Good luck!

Shell said...

OMG,I was completely cracking up at this! I think you could win!

Sandra said...

Is it cheating if I do like you and use my kid to write my blog post for the worst mother...I mean Not mother of the year award?
That was so funny, and yes, I totally picked out that the lime green comments were yours. Those were the comments I was agreeing with!
I'm searching your blog for your email, I will email 'cause I want all the details on how to make Disney as painless as possible. It's supposed to be the happiest place on earth goddammit, it better be!

Coma Girl said...

What a clever way of doing this! And very funny.

Kat from California said...

That was a ver funny post! I guess that is how you stay sane is your sense of humor. Girls can be such drama queens. I'd hate to see what my daughter would write. She's 12!


Katharine @ Kat's Almost Purrfect World

http://katspurrfectboutique.blogspot.com

Mungee's Ma said...

I love the posts from the child's perspective. What horrible mothers we must be! :)

An Imperfect New Momma said...

LOL! Love it!

Little T's Journey said...

I love how you did your entry from your daughter. Too cute.

gin said...

Kids do say the darnest things, don't they? Sorry, but I believe Sassy! only because been through that with a daughter with the middle child syndrome thing.

Kmama said...

Haha. That was funny. What a great idea for the post.

I'll have mine up tomorrow.

RN Mama said...

Oh, Sassy...I love it!! You're right, your mom is so not "mom of the year!"

Leiah said...

Oh my Lordy - that was hilarious. I love me some Sass!

Jessica said...

That is the most I've laughed all week! Awesome!

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Stopping by after finding you on BFF at TICS- this is fabulous! I'm loving it!

Brooke said...

That is absolutely BRILLIANT! Love it!

~ Crystal ~ said...

This post sounds like one of my kids wrote it about me!

Just Another Mom of 2 said...

This is such a great entry! What a clever way to approach the topic! It sounds like you have a mini blogger-in-training there ;)

Adrienne said...

I missed this while I was sick ...I love this post =)

litanyofbritt said...

Ahahahaha. To funny. Girls are so dramatic.

Oregontribal1 said...

Just wanted to say hello! Also LMBO at Sass's ideas of a bad momma; my mom cursed me with the "I hope you have kids just like yourself" and mine turned out to be a tommygirl and I'm "Betty Crocker with some Mae West" thrown in for good measure! I'm sure the child curse will show up somewhere in her life and you can sit back and giggle :)

Kate@SurroundedbyPenises said...

A great spin on the contest post :) Good luck!

Heligirl said...

Hi there. I'm a little late making the rounds, but I'm so glad I did. I got to meet you and see your blog. This post cracked me up BIG TIME. Mine are still pretty young, but I can just see my oldest acting this way. Oh what have I gotten myself into? I think I spit juice out my nose at the "apparently she's not familiar with the...curse." Fabulous! Pleased to meet you my dear!

Angela said...

Love this!! Thanks for the laughs:)

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