DISCLAIMER:

IF SOMETHING YOU READ DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PLEAD INSANITY! Or I've already taken my Ambien.







Friday, April 30, 2010

Dear Ovary (yes only one)

Today I'm linking up with Julie from Foursons for...


Foursons
 
Dear Left Ovary or only ovary left,

What is your deal?

You haven't worked right since I've known you. You & your former partner-in-crime have caused me tremendous amounts of stress & false alarms throughout the years, not to mention the expense you cost me in getting pregnant with Sass & Bo. And let's not forget the surprise you caused the last time you decided to work on a whelm right after Bo turned a year old. Need a reminder? We call her Baby Girl.

Now, 4 years later, you decide to start working like clockwork even without medical intervention, which is a first. Need I remind you that #1. three is plenty, thanks #2. I'm too old (in my opinion) and most importantly #3. I have NO uterus & your buddy died 6 years ago.

I thought we had an agreement From the very beginning, I would deal with the inconvenience you caused & in turn you would refrain from subjecting me to any pain. Since January, you have been in breach of contract & delivering sharp pains for like 5 days every a month. I thought I had a freaking cyst. Please cease & desist on the egg-producing. It's too little, too late. And without just cause.

If I didn't think I would become even crazier than I currently am it would effect my lifestyle, I would have you removed & burned at the stake. Please don't make me have to call Dr. H or Ken Nugent. One call, that's all.

Thank you for your corporation,

One irritated Semi-Slacker Mom

20 comments:

Foursons said...

Oh gosh, that totally stinks! I'm sorry you're having so many problems. I hope your ovary listens to this letter and takes a chill pill. (Wow, I haven't said that since 7th grade!)

Thanks for linking up!

Steven Anthony said...

i got as far as overy...then my balls shrank, and i read no further....lol, but i love ya anyway.

Katie's Dailies said...

Having just had a hysterectomy a couple weeks ago, I can sympathize. Hope that little sucker sits up and starts behaving!

Sherrie said...

Girl, I sort of feel your pain. Ever since I had my tubal after Micah, I can tell you like clockwork when I'm ovulating. It hurts like HECK! Now, prior to said tubal...NOTHING! I hadn't the foggiest. It SUCKS! Here's to hoping you feel better.

blueviolet said...

That pain really does hurt! A lot!

Gracie Beth said...

Do not let a doc take your ovaries you will become crazy like my mother!

RN Mama said...

I'm thinking you probably need to keep that ovary, in order to not go totally insane. I hope he/she/it takes your letter seriously and gets it's act together!

Jennifer said...

I have one left too, the left one as a matter of fact, and while it doesn't do it every month, every once in awhile it causes those same pains. Very frustrating. Makes me wish I would have had both of them removed.

Carolee / Home4ever said...

Pain free here!

Sorry to hear about your troubles- that stinks!

Hope you have a "better" weekend.

Stuff could always be worse said...

Yes sorry for your pain, you write it very well
kim

pink green & southern said...

Why is it so hard to be a woman?!

Princess Freckles said...

Could I send this letter along to my ovaries, or rather please tell the cysts on them where to go? Blech! I can understand your pain!

Beth said...

Ouch! So sorry you're in such pain without just cause! I told my hubby recently that I figured that since we were having more babies it was time for the factory to shut down! Go figure ... after a lifetime of irregular cycles and infertility I am regular as clockwork at 51!

Preppy 101 said...

Oh the wonders of the female body. If we could explain it, we could make millions!!! xoxo

Tracie said...

I'm thinking that I may have to get a hysterectomy soon so I'm starting to feel your pain. (literally)

Erin said...

Hey ovary, fall in line! I'm glad you have a sense of humor about this, it sounds like a big ol head and heartache.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for your pain, but your blog is hilarious!! Mitzi

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Yikes! That totally stinks! At least you can have a sense of humor about it!!

Kimberly said...

It is completely frustrating when you feel as though your body is turning on you. It is happening at a much more rapid pace than when I was younger! Hopefully the problems will ease soon!

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