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IF SOMETHING YOU READ DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PLEAD INSANITY! Or I've already taken my Ambien.







Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The truth must be told

My mother sent me this email today.

Your blog is starting to sound like you're a boozie and pill popper! Lighten up a little, please.

So I have to tell y'all that I really don't drink that much. Only socially & we don't get out much. But come Saturday night, Christmas party!!! Woo-Hoo! And then again on New Year's Eve at Natalia's! Plus, my stomach can't handle it anymore.

And I do have a prescription for Xanax, but I only take it when absolutely necessary. (probably not enough) I do however take Wellbutrin daily, but I have been on antibiotics since August (for a constant UTI) & which is weakening the effects of my happy pills. And making me lose weight, but that's another story. If I was a boozie & pill popper, I probably wouldn't be such a *itch. And what fun is that?

And while I'm on this honesty kick, I'm telling Sassy the truth about Santa this weekend (after Christmas break so she doesn't spill the beans to her friends). Her good friend, O (from Lunch with Santa) knows & I think Sass kinda does too.

She's been complaining that her elf doesn't bring her enough gifts & that she doesn't have a girl elf too & she has told me on numerous occasions that if Santa doesn't bring her everything on her list (that would even set Paris Hilton back), she'll know he doesn't exist. That right there is enough to make me scream, "I'm Santa, you ungrateful child!"

Plus, then I can put her in charge of her brother & sister's elves. And she'll think she's cool because she knows a secret so maybe she won't be such a pain. (for 5 minutes, maybe).

The only thing that's keeping me from telling the truth is that I really want to put out her Santa in the basement living room instead of the main one. That would show her not to mess with the fat lady in the pink housecoat.

Remember to vote for #6!

16 comments:

Shell said...

Don't worry, I talk about drinking an awful lot more than I actually do it, too. ;)

Jennifer said...

I would think at 8 you are probably right and she's got it figured out. Someone at school might have even said something.

The Niemeyer Nest said...

I used to teach 4th grade and I was so surprised at how many kids still believed! Maybe they just pretended to get the good stuff! HA!

EntertainingMom said...

Oh... My... God!!!! You are too funny!!! I'm sorry you talk about drinking more than you actually partake ... I was on Wellbutrin once... turned me in to a raving Biatch... didn't lose any weight or I mighta stayed on it ;)

Poolside with the Girls said...

I'm praying my mom never reads my blog. Lord help me.

We know she's a good girl mom!

Foursons said...

My Jakob is 8 and still believes whole heartedly in Santa. It surprises me actually. I thought for sure someone at school would have told him the truth by now.

And was it a family member or close friend who told you to lighten up your blog? Just curious- 'cause I would never say that to someone who was not family or a close friend.

Helene said...

OMG, you always make me laugh! I'm right there with ya...I make it sound like I'm a total boozer when in reality I may have a glass of wine maybe every other night. But damn, I need those happy pills..without them, I would not be able to function!

RN Mama said...

And the truth shall set you free!

Cheers!

Sam said...

You had me at "boozie". My Dad has a problem with everything I write on my Blog. I love your blog. It oftens makes my day! Your mother may not rely on your blog to make her day so..... keep up the good work!

Preppy 101 said...

Tell your mom that we know you aren't a pill-popping boozer! And now how is it that you're losing weight?? I need your magic formula ;-) xoxo

debra said...

Having to deal with the Santa thing and unappreciative daughter is going to drive me to drink so I would understand if you were in that spot too (that and the photo in the prior post!) We know it's all talk 'cause that's what we do, too! :)

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

hi! I'm new here and I enjoy drunks and pill poppers. So 4 points for you.
Also random...I know you don't know me but I had constant UTI's that didn't go away. Google "interstitial Cystitis" turns out I had it!
following you now!

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Sounds like my daughter and how she expects to get everything she wants. I do more drinking then talking about it-just kidding!

BigSis said...

so, am I a bad mommy for telling my son that he hasn't been very good this year and I'm sure Santa knows? (Rather than admitting money is tight?)

I'm with Martinis or Diaper genies - the more you drink the better in my book :)

Laura said...

Do you feel like you've been lying on a couch for an hour? Ha ha! I VOTED!!!

Joann Mannix said...

Hiii!!! Over from CCWA.

I had someone tell me recently I was too grouchy on my blog. I was all, "I am not?" But, then I looked, and I was, and I really didn't care because my blog is a place to get it all out. And screw all those folks. (My apologies to your momma.) My blog is my Wellbutrin.

And my youngest girl who is TWELVE, still believes in Santa. She says she doesn't care what anyone thinks. I am so ready for her to get in the real world. She's my youngest. I'm tired, man.

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