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IF SOMETHING YOU READ DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PLEAD INSANITY! Or I've already taken my Ambien.







Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Sometimes I don't think things through

I have decided that having minor surgery lipo 3 days before Christmas was not such a good idea after all. Like my friend Mandy said, it's only good if it lifts, sucks or tucks. Everything else notsomuch.

But on the bright side, my new urologist is a cutie & Lortab at Christmas is the gift that keeps on giving. And not much of a chance for ugly words at the dinner table on Christmas eve.

The littles are all about opening presents, but when I ask about the present they got me, it's all uh, uh, I can't tell you till Christmas.



Need a last minute gift? I've got just the thing-

Skittles Vodka!

180 ml vodka
60 pieces of skittles candies (of a single color)


Directions :
1. Separate all the skittles by color.
2. Mix approximately 60 skittles to 180 mL of vodka into empty water bottles and shake vigorously.
3. Leave overnight.
4. Strain the skittle vodka (use a chinois or coffer filter or something similar) making sure all the white residue is removed.
5. Pour vodka into container, jar, or bottle and chill.



And if you're Not in the Christmas Mood, you can try some of these-

Wear a Santa suit 2 the nearest red light district & stand on the corner saying "Ho!" as women walk by.

Create snow sculptures in yo yard of snowmen robbing Santa Claus.

Get a job as a mall Santa & then tell all the children you're sick of the milk and cookies crap & you'd prefer a beer & a plate of hot wings instead.

Stand on a street corner selling dime bags of mistletoe.

Buy a package of Keebler's E.L. Fudge Sandwich Cookies and hand them out to children saying this is what happens to the bad elves.

Sell Grinch-skin rugs.

Put on a Santa suit and open a mall kiosk that sells reindeer jerky and Easter Bunny filets.

Randomly replace one bulb in your neighbor's lights so they no longer work. Repeat this every day until Christmas.


I overheard Bo tell Baby Girl that after today they only have to be good one more day. Well that's a good start.

Y'all have a great CHRISTmas Eve eve!

14 comments:

Laura said...

I can see that the little nip/tuck action hasn't changed you! Ha!

Have a VERY Merry Christmas, Semi-Slacker!!

gCe said...

I would have loved some lipo! Have a Merry Christmas!

Steven Anthony said...

loritab for christmas, how can I get some of that...lol

merry day;)

pink green & southern said...

I hope you feel well soo--have a very, merry Christmas!

Sherrie said...

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Poolside with the Girls said...

Merry Christmas!

Preppy 101 said...

Love this post!! Have a fabulous Christmas Day!! xoxo

debra said...

Merry Christmas to you!

Foursons said...

Oh that Bo! What a stinker! Merry Christmas!

Bama Girl in AZ said...

I am lovin that Skittles business!

kys said...

Skittles vodka??? Where was this the 6 years I was in college???

Merry Christmas, friend! I hope you Lortab takes you to your happy place very quickly.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Hope the recovery is easy. That skittles vodka sounds very interesting!
Merry Christmas!

RN Mama said...

Hope you're starting to feel better!

We're celebrating with my in-laws today...all I want for Christmas is a Valium and a stiff drink!

Kristin said...

Skittles vodka??? Bless you lady!

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