Monday, July 27, 2009

Cinderella I am NOT!

Instead of Lady Tremaine, Anastasia & Drizella, I've got Sassy, Bo & Baby Girl. I don't know who had it worse.

And where is that damn Fairy Godmother?

We are entering into week 4 of no housekeeper/nanny. And the home improvement project is in full swing. I've got crap stacked everywhere, even more than usual. And sheet rock dust!

Next year, Bo & Baby Girl's names will be on the hurricane list. Bo will be a category 4 & Baby Girl a category 5. Yesterday, they broke my favorite vase. I've only had it 11 years.

I vacuum 4 times a day. Seriously. My back hurts. I can't sleep, so I'm tired. That Wellbutrin about ain't cutting it. 9 days till school starts & I have not the first school supply. With doctor's appointments & such, I'm running out of babysitters. Babsy, Gammi & Aunt Crissy can only take so much of my precious children. Our local school district just cut back to 4 days a week. PTL, we go private!

Baby Girl has been screaming herself to sleep lately (& the rest of the day) & has strained her vocal chords. On the plus side, when she's not screaming she's hoarse.

On the up side, I did take the girls to eat at Olive Garden (don't judge) on the way to the hospital to visit our bestie's new baby. And they were little angels! Good manners, good eating, good behavior. I don't know what got into them. Emily Post would have been proud.

As for Blond John's new baby, he was precious, but even looking at a sweet, cuddly newborn DOES NOT even give me an inkling of a desire to have another!

Sass was spending the night at Gammi's last night & called me in tears. I thought something was seriously wrong. She had accidentally sold one of her dogs on her DS game. It was the one she named it after the boxer I had growing up. Don't you wish that's all you had to cry about?

I was not wearing my big girl panties when I was writing this, I lent them to Jessica.


LuLu said...

I swear you crack me up more and more everyday:) No offense...but this one is pretty good birth control!! Ha! Kidding...sort of:) Seriously...I can't imagine three kids so I admire you immensely!

Debra said...

Really, what does these school districts have in their heads when they go to 4 days?? I keep hearing it more and more. Fingers crossed it doesn't happen here.

Hang in there!!

Debra said...

Oops, sorry for the grammar error- this is why our kids need to go to school 5 days a week!

Jessica Ryan said...

Damn... the panties are too tight! I just posted my own sniffling-whiny post. (I think you will really LOL and completely relate.)
I'm sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps... I was coming over to see if you had any chardonnay. I'm out. Now I'd like some Wellbutrin to go with it.

We should have a Big Girl Panties fest... drink ourselves silly and laugh and laugh and laugh!

Hugs T!!!!

jenniedub said...

Well I can say as a teacher....you got a few days leeway (how do you spell that word?)....just make sure they got a pencil that first day...oh but if a K student...they might need something to take a nap on! :)

Oh and I am going to Olive Garden tomorrow...not my favorite but I could just eat breadsticks and salad...and not order anything else. That salad is sooooo good!

Sandra said...

Hilarious post! I just think your children are the most precious! One day you'll look back on this and laugh - maybe. But you'll be so proud that you survived!! xoxo

Tammy said...

School is in 9 days-Glowing green with envy here!
I've got a bit less than 30 with mine-I swear that bit of grey is now a full blown fashion statement!
It does really suck that it is only 4 days though-Yuck!
We are in renovation mode too-it makes everything soooo much worse-maybe I need to go to the Dr. meds might just do the trick!
Here's to a good week! :)

Bamawhitney said...

I just crack up everytime I read your posts! Sofia is counting down the days to school here! Hope things settle down for you!

♥ Noelle ♥ said...

LOL!! love the hurricane list! i have never heard that before! i am SO ready for my mouthy 8 year old to go back to school! i told him today that if he doesn't learn RESPECT soon, i will let him taste soap!! mean, but i've had enough!!

i love how you add humor to all of these crazy mommy moments:)

Under this Umbrella said...

Oh, I hear you. I have been having more and more of these crazy mom moments. Sometimes I sit back and pretend that this isn't my life...who are these children, where did this mess come from, and who is that man??? I might just hop in my car and drive away, driving back to my real life because surely this ain't it!

Stephanie said...

I am dying of laughter.

I've always said I want to keep the kids until they are 2, send them away until 22, and get them back when they realize I'm not their arch nemesis.

Clearly I say that in jest...


mes petit choux said...

You are hysterical. Some days it does feel a bit more like a circus than others, doesn't it? Mostly I spend my day trying to figure out who is running this circus I call my life... me or the kids... Please.Pass.The.Wine!

Laura said...

Hilarious! And here I am, fresh from 9 hours of sleepful bliss b/c my one and only is at her Nana & Papaw's and I simply don't know what to do with myself! Maybe you can convince that Fairy Godmother at Disney to come home with you?

Mrs4444 said...

That DS story-way too funny. Reminds me of the time someone "robbed" Kyle in some on-line game. Poor kid.

You are welcome to vacuum at my house ANY time!!

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

Oh man, you make me smile. So glad I took a break to read this. Hoping things lighten up for you all soon.

GeckoGirl said...

OMG!!! I have a pair of big girl panties AND shoes you can borrow! Do you want me to send them to you?? Go hide yourself in the closet with your favorite chocolate; make sure you're in the dark that way the calories can't find you! Hang in there...you can do it!

Unknown said...

4 days a week?!?! That's it?!?! How can they do that?

Melissa said...

seriously 4 days a week? I keep reading they want more and more school, how does it go down. Are they in school until like 6pm? Well I'm reading this like six months later so I hope things are better now. Or is your daughter still horse?

Stacey said...

Way too funny. Glad to have found you through bLerApy. Am now a groupie. :)

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