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IF SOMETHING YOU READ DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT, I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PLEAD INSANITY! Or I've already taken my Ambien.







Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This ain't PETA your messing with!

Some of you may remember my recent run-in with Ratatouille. But since many of you are relatively new to the Semi-Slacker lifestyle, you may need a little background info so please take a moment to read this. I'll wait. Trust me, it's worth the read.

Okay, now that everybody's caught up, I will go ahead with my story.

Apparently, Ratatouille's brother, Jerry (Bo loves him some Tom & Jerry)has come to avenge his brother's death. Monday night, Retro & I had "just settled our head's for a warm winter's nap, when all of the sudden" we heard a russell of plastic coming from behind our bedroom door. My first thought, a RAT! (in my HOUSE, they are RATS! I don't care what anybody says!)

Retro thought maybe the air vent was blowing a plastic bag from our local children's shop. No. such. luck. Behind the door was also a bag of summer clothes that missed getting packed away. So I grabbed a curtain rod (that was also behind there) & started beating the bags. Then I remembered I was barefooted & turned to put on my Uggs & out runs Jerry. (Where the hell is Tom!) And guess where he runs...under my bed! Of course.

Tuesday morning comes & after I take all the children to their respective schools, I come home on a mission! I share my plan to organize & rearrange my room with Matt, we begin work on the master suite of the Casa de Clutter.

After moving out all the extra stuff, we go get Randy & Jr. (They work on the farm & just love it when I have a project!) The bed is moved, tv table removed & chest of drawers moved & topped with the tv. When cleaning out from under the bed, there was no sign of Jerry but Lawd! at the dust bunnies -7 years worth!

After a day's worth of work, seriously like 9am to 9pm, the room & closet are clutter-free (or as clutter-free as they can possibly get). I would post pictures but my room is the least decorated room in my house. As I have said before, I am not & never will be an interior decorator. But I digress.

Back to the cause of a my madness, Jerry the RAT! All that cleaning out & rearranging & no Jerry. I don't know what I would have done if I had seen him. Scream & jump on the bed? Yeah, probably.

He may have alluded me this time, but the war is not over! I have set out 8, count them, eight traps for Jerry, Chuck E. Cheese, Fievell (remember An American Tail), Despereaux or any other uninvited house guests. When it comes to vermin- I do not play!

Being the true Southern lady that I am, I know I should be hospitable to all my guests no matter how much I dislike them. Therefore, I have filled the said traps with a dollop of yummy peanut butter.

Retro said,"if the trap doesn't get him, maybe the salmonella will".

*Disclaimer: I do not condone violent treatment of animals, unless they are rodents & in your house uninvited!*

14 comments:

Slacker Mama said...

I agree with your rodent stance whole-heartedly.

My mom was terrorized by squirrels that started eating at her birdfeeder but then started charging *at* her on her deck. But she didn't want to kill them so she set these humane traps for them.

When she caught them, she would drive them to the local park about 2 miles away. Jokingly my sister asked if she was worried they would come back.

"Oh, no!" my mom replied. "I didn't take them directly there. I threw in a bunch of turns so they wouldn't know which way was up."

You can insanity runs in my family.

Mags said...

ARGH!!! I'd be freaking too.

We had a dead squirrel in the AC unit in a house we rented last Summer. We had the AC going for a week or so when the HVAC company came by for its annual maintenance. I was very concerned about my family breathing the putrid remains. Yuck!

I hope Jerry is long gone!!!

Beckie said...

Yea we can't even deal with dead Alvin, I know we would loose it over live Jerry!

Sherrie said...

You wanna know how we get rid of rats? The DYSON! YEAH baby! LOL! We found some babies back when I was preggers with Micah, and Brian didn't know what else to do. We didn't even have a trap...had to call my neighbor to get one. LOL! I hate those little boogers! Good luck getting rid of them!

Ashlee said...

written like a true southerner! you'll get him. they can't stay away from peanut butter! i hate to admit it, because it disgusts me, but we live in an old house and have problems every winter. we caught 5 in less than a week earlier this month. i was sitting in the den feeding blair the last time for the night, and SNAP went the trap in the kitchen. yuck.

Tales From My Empty Nest said...

What a funny story!! I think we can all relate to a mouse in the house at one time or the other. They are sneaky little rascals!!
Have a great day. Is it almost time for the ski trip? Love & blessings from NC!

Amy@Bitchin'WivesClub said...

I agree; traps and poison are perfectly suitable in this kind of situation. The mouse must be eradicated, with extreme prejudice. :)

Helene said...

I share your dislike of all things rodent!!! I'm dying laughing over the comment your husband made about the salmonella!!!

Preppy 101 said...

I am with you 100+%. and if you run into any card-carrying PETA's, just let me know. I've got your back!! Afterall, you are my bff. xoxo

Desiree said...

Oh I totally agree with you! Thankfully we've never had the rodent problem yet. My son is 3 and just has fish. I'm good with fish.

Sherrie said...

Hey, stop by my blog and grab some goodies I left for you! Enjoy!

Tess said...

OMG! I just went through this. I totally freaked out when I found out we had some in our house but I think we got them all- until next winter but I'll be prepared and try to find out this summer how they are getting in. Yuck!!

Sherrie said...

The Dyson vaccuum! I LOVE it, and I wouldn't have another vaccuum to save the world! It's the best thing since sliced bread! You don't have one????

And -- can you send me a link to that organizer you mentioned a while back? I'm still waiting on the pictures. LOL!

SarahHub said...

Don't feel bad, I would get him, too!

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